Be more supportive of "legal paperwork now, ceremony forthcoming" Brides.
I've never seen more vitriolic, self-important Brides anywhere else on the web than here on the Knot, spitting "expertise" at BRIDES who are in fact (for a number of reasons-- military, immigration, health, etc) finishing paperwork prior to the official ceremony. I find it disgusting and shocking that the Knot supports such exclusive, "mean girl attitudes" in a billion dollar industry where MANY brides are now having to do just that-- get the legality squared away before the sentimentality can occur. One such post was pinned at the top of the forum, belittling such necessities as "pretty princess days" as if a standard beautiful wedding is deserved for some brides but is spoiled and immature for other brides who, frankly, DID do the "mature thing" (as so many of these snide posters imply) by taking care of business before allowing themselves to indulge in the specialness of this life moment. It's very upsetting to know I've been enjoying the Knot and purchasing magazines and subscribing to its social media when-- in reality, it seems the Knot doesn't support me, or the way that my fiancee (and YES I will call him that, despite what the Knot seems to chastise me for) and I felt we had to do things. I'm thinking other such brides in my demographic (and that is a growing number in this day and age) may best be served elsewhere. I used to love the Knot, until all of these horrible posts became a judgment at every turn. Who else will the Knot judge? Gay couples? Couples with children? Second marriages? The judgment that I "am not a bride, I'm a wife so I need to get over the idea of a wedding and grow up" is nothing but damaging to a company that thrives on making the dreams of women everywhere come true. I thought and hope that the Knot DOES care about brides and grooms, and their romances, and does NOT exclude/judge/belittle these things based on the circumstances thereof.
I really appreciate you taking time to send over your thoughts and frustrations. While I am not familiar with the exact forum board you are referring to, I do understand that some of our boards are still a work in progress. We have made great strides this year to make sure our members are using the report button when they see things that are inappropriate or something that might violate our terms of service. It sounds like you are describing situations and user replies that might fall into that category.
We are trying to make sure the forum boards are open to all viewpoints, but if it has been pushed too far, please do report the action and we can at least investigate to make sure there are no violations in play.
I do hope you realize that while these are posted on our site through the Community page, The Knot itself does support all couples and we hope that our users will see this in our brand voice throughout the site articles and features.
If you would prefer not to report the specific thread, please email me the link at email@example.com and I will be sure our Community manager reviews this for you.
Kristin Mathias commented
I came across the original article regarding brides who are already legally married (i.e. Pretty pretty princess weddings) while helping my friend research ideas for her own wedding. I truly cannot find the words to express how horrified I was by this post that was pinned to the top of your boards and indeed was the first thing I saw while on your forums. You see, my friend has already been married, and the chance that I have as her friend to witness the ceremony the couple wishes to share with those that love them most will be one of the happiest days of my life.in the midst of my joy in helping celebrate, I then had the lovely afternoon reading that is quite frankly shaming a set of brides on what I thought was a site devoted to helping couples celebrate one of the greatest days of their lives. Imagine my further dismay that this is not merely an anonymous post hidden within the depths of the sites commentary boards but is pinned to the top for every bride in this situation to see, read, and immediately feel as though they have done something that will anger their family and friends. Anyone who is truly that upset at this type of wedding, should choose not to be a part of it. They are not needed or wanted at such an occasion. I never thought that a website that has such claims to a culture such as yours would encourage shaming of couples such as this. Needless to say I will actively be encouraging both my friend and anyone else I can think of to avoid such a biased, judegemental, cruel site as well as their vendors. The only thing, if there could possibly be anything to be thankful for in all this, that I am greatful of is that I have the opportunity on this post to express just how deeply disappointed I am, as the original post is closed for commenting.