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Gendered language in registry survey

This note is in response to a survey I received via email titled "What were your wedding registry essentials? Tell us!"

I would like to register my disgust at the hetero-normative language that was used throughout this survey. I have accepted that 99% of the photos on the Knot feature a heterosexual couple (the vast majority of those being white too) and understand that there are fewer LGBT weddings occurring across the country. It has made me feel marginalized in my own wedding planning, but I understood and accepted it.

What I will not accept is the blatant use of hetero-normative language throughout this survey. The phrases 'Bridal Registry", "Bride and groom", and "My husband/fiancé wanted to register for electronics" are outdated and disrespectful to the diverse members of the Knot Community. In each of those instances you could have just as easily used non-gendered terms that would have made for a more open and inclusive environment. The world is changing and I suggest that the Knot get on board.

For what its worth, I have been an active member of other online wedding planning communities (including Wedding Wire and Borrowed and Blue) and they have both done a much better job of consistently featuring diverse weddings from diverse couples, and always using non-gendered language in every communication. Your company needs to do a lot better.

I will never refer any future couples (especially from the LGBT community) to your website or services.

Patrick McGettigan

4 votes
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Patrick J McGettigan shared this idea  ·   ·  Flag idea as inappropriate…  ·  Admin →

Thank you. Not only for taking time out of your day to send this very important note, but for calling this out to us at all. We are definitely trying to make strides on our site so that all couples feel welcome and valued at The Knot. We just have a few areas that are either being overlooked or that haven’t had the full update yet. This is definitely one of them.

I have already sent your feedback along to our Research and Marketing teams so we can make sure this is quickly on our priority list. I am very sorry you did not feel welcomed by our site when taking this quiz – that you felt we did not value you as a couple and that we did not value this enough to have made this change earlier. Thank you, again, for giving us an opportunity to see this today so we can work on making it right for other couples as they start visiting our site.

I am glad you have found other wedding planning forums that have made you feel more welcome and valued. And while you may not choose to refer anyone to us, I really hope that the next couple that visits our site is positively affected by the changes you are helping us make.

We wish you all the best.


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